Another wedding another stolen show

So finally after all the bucks’ parties it was the wedding of Parris and Beanie. I stared in the well documented Vegas bucks and took it to a whole new level for the Sydney Bucks. The 2nd bucks was a cruise on Sydney Harbour and with the capitulation of Parris ending in a drunken man over board I stepped up to the plate as the buck for a few shows. Once again Stack saved the day and made quite the impression with the “paid help”. Richie is one lucky “best man” that I stepped in as the amateur would have been an embarrassment on show!

So I stole the show in Vegas, Sydney and now the big day.

The wedding started well with my reading in the church. After I had finished there was not a dry eye in the place. Then the reception and of course I help court at the dinner table as the Boags Premium and Black Bull Cabernet flowed freely down my throat.

Some people say the speeches are the highlight of the reception others say the cutting of the cake while most punters vote on the Bridal waltz. Well they were all pretty good but I undoubtedly stole the show with my non-stop dancing. The spin, the twist, the twirl, the turn and the pivot were all used to great effect. The ladies were lining up to take my hand on the dance floor.

A great event and another event stolen by Stacky.com

Who the hell is Packer?

So I sat down to a 1998 West Australian Merlot after a hard days work brining in the big bucks when I accidentally push “2” on the remote. I had previously taped over “2” and “0” on the remote so I did not have to be brain washed by the tree hugging, left wing loonies that is the ABC and SBS. I remember pealing the tape off late one night after a few two many Carlton’s and a few litres of Rum when I wanted to watch a late night “documentary” on SBS. Well I will learn from that mistake. That poor excuse for a show “4 Corners” was on. I was just about to flick the channel when the strip popped up on my screen. Vegas Baby! It brought back many good memories of my magical time in Sin City.
Poor old James Packer does not seem to have the same affinity with Vegas as I do! The clown has lost nearly $3 billion dollars and he did not even place a bet or visit a night club!
Well James I am made for Vegas and Vegas is made for me so if you want some help to get things up and running again myself and Johnny Vegas will lend a hand…..At a price of course!

Foot lose and fancy free

So we hit up the two leading clubs in Vegas. XS and Bank and boy did the dance floor light up when I hit the floor. It was my kinda scene stiff free pour drinks, hot women, great music and you could smoke indoors! Every time I hit the dance floor the tempo lifted. Sure Harris hit the podium a few times but these girls know real talent when they see it! I was on fire lady after lady, girl and girl, cougar after cougar wanted to bogey with .com. I had all the moves going the spin, the twist, the turn and the hot shoe shuffle. A few boys wanted tips but it takes time an effort to move like I do. There is no miracle answer to dancing like me. Oh a few in our crew went ok. Scotty or “Babbinator” as he wanted the girls to call him was on fire! While the ladies called me quick step Stacky, Babbinator was known as “twinkle toes”. The boy can move! Plenty wanted to get down and dirty with Scotty but..
The sad fact was Babbinator was 2nd rate compared to me and I got the pick of the ladies. One, two, three, four stacky could have had them all.

F#*KING GAMING

I joined the queue for Tryst nightclub but it became apparent that the only way to get in was to grease the bouncer. As you all know I am far from tight but to give money to the clown at the door made my skin crawl. It was only the 2nd night and there was plenty of time for some of my signature dance moves in the next 3 night. I shock the boys hands, squeezed past the line of girls and I high tailed it back to the Hard Rock and hit the Black Jack table. It was not long until the pit boss knew I meant business and gave me free membership to the “Rockstar Players Club”. I was on a roll up $5G, hot ladies off each shoulder and taking Vegas by storm, Stacky Style. The time ticked by and the tide started to turn. As they say all good things come to an end and by 11am I was gone. I did my cash. Oh well plenty more nights to get it back but now it was bedtime. A few of the faithful ladies followed me to the lifts but I told them it was bed time and I was in no mood for some “fun”. I staggered into the room at 1130am collapsed on my bed fully clad, shoes and all. The next thing I know Hutcho is waking me. “Stacky what happened to you? Where the hell have you been?” one simple answer…….

Fucking Gaming!!!!!!!

Dinning in style

It was night two when the boys decided we needed to go for a group diner. Being a man with a refined taste and an advanced palate I demanded we dine in style. I picked The Venetian Hotel as our destination and “David Burke” was the restaurant. This was Modern American Cuisine at its best. A few pre dinner Beers (Mexican of course) and I was given the honours of ordering the wine. It was a no brainier when it came to the wine list. Flick past the American rubbish, flash past the Italian Vino a brief look at the French pretenders and BANG a good Coonawarra Cabernet. The Sommelier looked on in amazement as i dissected the wine list. The end result was the perfect match of a magnificent Coonawarra Red with a succulent piece of American Rib Eye. A few ladies at the next table over heard the way I ordered the wine with distinction and knowledge. They asked me to match their food and wine. They were so satisfied with my choice they then asked me back to their room but ladies Black Jack was calling…….

Vegas, its my kinda town

Well the ladies in Vegas are still drying their eyes now the Stack has departed. Let me tell you they found it hard when I left but I found it even harder. Vegas is my kinda town baby! On the first night when I was up on the Black Jack table nature called. I walked into the gents with my beer and bunger in hand. What confronted me next was instant L O V E with Vegas. Above the Toilet cubical was a cup holder and an ash tray. If one could easily get a VB or Carlton in Vegas I would never leave.

This does not even mention the fantastic Clubs, Bars, Cars and Girls around town but I will get to that later. I am off to run 20km to stretch the legs after the long flight.

Cometh the day cometh the man

The count down has finished. The training has been done. The big event is here. Today I fly out to Vegas and my assault on everything beautiful will begin. I had one final session last night around 10 Caltons, three Coonawarra reds and a few jugs of Rum and Coke. In fine form I was up at the crack of dawn for a brisk power walk to clear the lungs. Ladies of the great State of Nevada, your wait is nearly over. Stacky.com will see you soon. Hang on!

Mile High

In two short days I will be flying high enjoying a nice Tasmanian Pinot in the comfort of a new VAustralia plane. I have a friend who works for VAustralia and she was telling the girls about me a few weeks ago. Well what a head ache this has caused the HR department of Virgin. I have it on good authority that as many as 56 girls and 3 guys (sorry gents I am not that way inclined) have requested they be rostered on for my flight.

As much as I am flattered by the attention from the Virgin girls I am not about to join Ralph Fiennes and the mile high club. Sure you are all welcome to join me in Vegas but really I am not as flexible as I once was and aircraft toilets are made for one person not two.

So ladies if you want to get on my good side just keep the vintage wine and Australian beer flowing. Don’t put the hard word on me. This flight is about resting up for the week in Vegas. As they say “Fly Fabulous”, with me onboard Fabulous is an understatement!

A Special Package

Well sure my crown jewels are a very special package but that’s not what I am referring to. It’s a well documented fact that our friends in the United States of America can not brew beer or produce a half decent Shiraz. Sure they claim Bud is the “king of Beers” and Napa is the perfect climate for wine but they also claim Cuba is evil! How you can claim a country that produces the best cigars and the best rum in the world is evil is beyond me.

Anyway I was not about to let the American notion of good beer and wine wreak my Vegas assault. Today I air freighted a container of VB, Coonawarra Cabernet, McLaren Vale Shiraz and some Bundy express to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casio. I have organised some room in the underground vault to store my stash. There is nothing .com can not achieve!

You may be thinking a 40 foot container full of alcohol is a little extreme. But it is five nights and there will be many ladies wanting to enjoy some of Australia’s finest produce, sure I am the best export but there is only so much of me to go around. I don’t want American poor taste to ruin my vacation. Dam it I have standards!

5 days to go, that should give the buffoons at the hard rock enough time to have my beers chilled and ready for consumption.

The Names Stack James Stack

So I was up at 5am to go for one of my morning power walks just putting the finishing touches on my rigorous fitness routine for Vegas. I finished up my walk sat down at my computer with my protein shake and well, well what a surprise I find my inbox full with requests from ladies in Vegas hoping to spend a night in the sack with the stack. Ladies I appreciate the enthusiasm and haste with which you emailed me but good things come to those who wait.

I will bring sexy, style and sophistication back to Vegas. Don’t worry Sin City the golden days on the golden mile will be returning in 6 days……But who’s counting?

Viva Las Vegas

They say the GFC is the worst thing to hit Las Vegas in Sin City’s history. Well for the lucky ladies of Vegas Stacky.com is about to put a smile on your face. Kevin 07 has been throwing money around willy nilly to minimise the impact of the GFC in Australia. Poor old Obama has been left with not a Dime to spend on the US by Matts buddy George W. However as they say “good things come to those who wait”.

In one short week I will descend on Sin City with one purpose to put the “Sin” back in Sin City. It will be a clinical operation which would make the pentagon proud. I will dominate the party scene and bring a whole new dimension to the saying “I am here for a good time not a long time”. The ladies of Vegas will be the benefactors when I hit the strip. Don’t worry my female friends there will be plenty of stacky.com to go around.

It may have been a dream I had last night but lets just say I would not be surprised if I get a little deja vue “We both know that I'm a drunk. And I know you are a hooker. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that. Which is not to say that I'm indifferent or I don't care, I do. It simply means that I trust and accept your judgment.”

I have been let astray at times but what could possibly go wrong when .com is loose in Vegas?