Who the hell is Packer?

So I sat down to a 1998 West Australian Merlot after a hard days work brining in the big bucks when I accidentally push “2” on the remote. I had previously taped over “2” and “0” on the remote so I did not have to be brain washed by the tree hugging, left wing loonies that is the ABC and SBS. I remember pealing the tape off late one night after a few two many Carlton’s and a few litres of Rum when I wanted to watch a late night “documentary” on SBS. Well I will learn from that mistake. That poor excuse for a show “4 Corners” was on. I was just about to flick the channel when the strip popped up on my screen. Vegas Baby! It brought back many good memories of my magical time in Sin City.
Poor old James Packer does not seem to have the same affinity with Vegas as I do! The clown has lost nearly $3 billion dollars and he did not even place a bet or visit a night club!
Well James I am made for Vegas and Vegas is made for me so if you want some help to get things up and running again myself and Johnny Vegas will lend a hand…..At a price of course!

Foot lose and fancy free

So we hit up the two leading clubs in Vegas. XS and Bank and boy did the dance floor light up when I hit the floor. It was my kinda scene stiff free pour drinks, hot women, great music and you could smoke indoors! Every time I hit the dance floor the tempo lifted. Sure Harris hit the podium a few times but these girls know real talent when they see it! I was on fire lady after lady, girl and girl, cougar after cougar wanted to bogey with .com. I had all the moves going the spin, the twist, the turn and the hot shoe shuffle. A few boys wanted tips but it takes time an effort to move like I do. There is no miracle answer to dancing like me. Oh a few in our crew went ok. Scotty or “Babbinator” as he wanted the girls to call him was on fire! While the ladies called me quick step Stacky, Babbinator was known as “twinkle toes”. The boy can move! Plenty wanted to get down and dirty with Scotty but..
The sad fact was Babbinator was 2nd rate compared to me and I got the pick of the ladies. One, two, three, four stacky could have had them all.

F#*KING GAMING

I joined the queue for Tryst nightclub but it became apparent that the only way to get in was to grease the bouncer. As you all know I am far from tight but to give money to the clown at the door made my skin crawl. It was only the 2nd night and there was plenty of time for some of my signature dance moves in the next 3 night. I shock the boys hands, squeezed past the line of girls and I high tailed it back to the Hard Rock and hit the Black Jack table. It was not long until the pit boss knew I meant business and gave me free membership to the “Rockstar Players Club”. I was on a roll up $5G, hot ladies off each shoulder and taking Vegas by storm, Stacky Style. The time ticked by and the tide started to turn. As they say all good things come to an end and by 11am I was gone. I did my cash. Oh well plenty more nights to get it back but now it was bedtime. A few of the faithful ladies followed me to the lifts but I told them it was bed time and I was in no mood for some “fun”. I staggered into the room at 1130am collapsed on my bed fully clad, shoes and all. The next thing I know Hutcho is waking me. “Stacky what happened to you? Where the hell have you been?” one simple answer…….

Fucking Gaming!!!!!!!

Dinning in style

It was night two when the boys decided we needed to go for a group diner. Being a man with a refined taste and an advanced palate I demanded we dine in style. I picked The Venetian Hotel as our destination and “David Burke” was the restaurant. This was Modern American Cuisine at its best. A few pre dinner Beers (Mexican of course) and I was given the honours of ordering the wine. It was a no brainier when it came to the wine list. Flick past the American rubbish, flash past the Italian Vino a brief look at the French pretenders and BANG a good Coonawarra Cabernet. The Sommelier looked on in amazement as i dissected the wine list. The end result was the perfect match of a magnificent Coonawarra Red with a succulent piece of American Rib Eye. A few ladies at the next table over heard the way I ordered the wine with distinction and knowledge. They asked me to match their food and wine. They were so satisfied with my choice they then asked me back to their room but ladies Black Jack was calling…….

Vegas, its my kinda town

Well the ladies in Vegas are still drying their eyes now the Stack has departed. Let me tell you they found it hard when I left but I found it even harder. Vegas is my kinda town baby! On the first night when I was up on the Black Jack table nature called. I walked into the gents with my beer and bunger in hand. What confronted me next was instant L O V E with Vegas. Above the Toilet cubical was a cup holder and an ash tray. If one could easily get a VB or Carlton in Vegas I would never leave.

This does not even mention the fantastic Clubs, Bars, Cars and Girls around town but I will get to that later. I am off to run 20km to stretch the legs after the long flight.