Cometh the day cometh the man

The count down has finished. The training has been done. The big event is here. Today I fly out to Vegas and my assault on everything beautiful will begin. I had one final session last night around 10 Caltons, three Coonawarra reds and a few jugs of Rum and Coke. In fine form I was up at the crack of dawn for a brisk power walk to clear the lungs. Ladies of the great State of Nevada, your wait is nearly over. Stacky.com will see you soon. Hang on!

Mile High

In two short days I will be flying high enjoying a nice Tasmanian Pinot in the comfort of a new VAustralia plane. I have a friend who works for VAustralia and she was telling the girls about me a few weeks ago. Well what a head ache this has caused the HR department of Virgin. I have it on good authority that as many as 56 girls and 3 guys (sorry gents I am not that way inclined) have requested they be rostered on for my flight.

As much as I am flattered by the attention from the Virgin girls I am not about to join Ralph Fiennes and the mile high club. Sure you are all welcome to join me in Vegas but really I am not as flexible as I once was and aircraft toilets are made for one person not two.

So ladies if you want to get on my good side just keep the vintage wine and Australian beer flowing. Don’t put the hard word on me. This flight is about resting up for the week in Vegas. As they say “Fly Fabulous”, with me onboard Fabulous is an understatement!

A Special Package

Well sure my crown jewels are a very special package but that’s not what I am referring to. It’s a well documented fact that our friends in the United States of America can not brew beer or produce a half decent Shiraz. Sure they claim Bud is the “king of Beers” and Napa is the perfect climate for wine but they also claim Cuba is evil! How you can claim a country that produces the best cigars and the best rum in the world is evil is beyond me.

Anyway I was not about to let the American notion of good beer and wine wreak my Vegas assault. Today I air freighted a container of VB, Coonawarra Cabernet, McLaren Vale Shiraz and some Bundy express to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casio. I have organised some room in the underground vault to store my stash. There is nothing .com can not achieve!

You may be thinking a 40 foot container full of alcohol is a little extreme. But it is five nights and there will be many ladies wanting to enjoy some of Australia’s finest produce, sure I am the best export but there is only so much of me to go around. I don’t want American poor taste to ruin my vacation. Dam it I have standards!

5 days to go, that should give the buffoons at the hard rock enough time to have my beers chilled and ready for consumption.

The Names Stack James Stack

So I was up at 5am to go for one of my morning power walks just putting the finishing touches on my rigorous fitness routine for Vegas. I finished up my walk sat down at my computer with my protein shake and well, well what a surprise I find my inbox full with requests from ladies in Vegas hoping to spend a night in the sack with the stack. Ladies I appreciate the enthusiasm and haste with which you emailed me but good things come to those who wait.

I will bring sexy, style and sophistication back to Vegas. Don’t worry Sin City the golden days on the golden mile will be returning in 6 days……But who’s counting?

Viva Las Vegas

They say the GFC is the worst thing to hit Las Vegas in Sin City’s history. Well for the lucky ladies of Vegas Stacky.com is about to put a smile on your face. Kevin 07 has been throwing money around willy nilly to minimise the impact of the GFC in Australia. Poor old Obama has been left with not a Dime to spend on the US by Matts buddy George W. However as they say “good things come to those who wait”.

In one short week I will descend on Sin City with one purpose to put the “Sin” back in Sin City. It will be a clinical operation which would make the pentagon proud. I will dominate the party scene and bring a whole new dimension to the saying “I am here for a good time not a long time”. The ladies of Vegas will be the benefactors when I hit the strip. Don’t worry my female friends there will be plenty of stacky.com to go around.

It may have been a dream I had last night but lets just say I would not be surprised if I get a little deja vue “We both know that I'm a drunk. And I know you are a hooker. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that. Which is not to say that I'm indifferent or I don't care, I do. It simply means that I trust and accept your judgment.”

I have been let astray at times but what could possibly go wrong when .com is loose in Vegas?